World of Warcraft Yo Momma Jokes

What's more funny than World of Wacraft Jokes and Yo Momma Jokes? 

Ya right - The Wow Yo Momma jokes!

Yo momma is so fat, she takes up 5 slots in a raid group!

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Yo momma so fat chain lightning hits her three times.

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Yo momma is so fat, warlocks have to use 2 soulshards to summon her.

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Your momma's so fat that when she logged into Stormwind she caused a global server crash.

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Yo momma's so fat, that the place she farted, is now known as Un'goro crater.

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Yo momma’s so fat that mages have to grease their portals and conjure cinnamon rolls on the other side to get her through.

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Yo momma’s so fat, at level 20 she gets Aspect of the Whale.

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Yo momma is so fat, she can tank…and she is a mage..

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Yo mama is so ugly the undead started to sing “We are family”.

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Yo momma is so fat she can capture all the bases in Arati Basin…at the same time.

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Yo momma is so ugly she scares Illidan who goes yelling : “ I’m not prepared!”  

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Your momma so fat she sat on the Black Temple and turned it into Sunken Temple!

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Yo mama so fat she tried to pop sprint and still ran at normal speed!

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Yo momma so fat, that since she joined my server I can’t even log in. 

It says: “Server is Full.”…

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Jokes, World of wacraft, Yo mama jokes,

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Top 15 funny sayings in court

☺☺☺

Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

 ☺☺☺

What happened then?

He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."

Did he kill you?

☺☺☺

Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

☺☺☺ 

Can you describe the individual?

He was about medium height and had a beard.

Was this a male or female?

☺☺☺ 

Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

☺☺☺ 

Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?

By death.

And by whose death was it terminated?

☺☺☺

She had three children, right?

Yes.

How many were boys?

None.

Were there girls?

☺☺☺ 

What is your martial status?

Fair.

☺☺☺ 

Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth?”

“What happens if I say no?”

☺☺☺ 

What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

☺☺☺ 

Were you present when your picture was taken?

Would you repeat the question?

☺☺☺ 

You say the stairs went down to the basement?

Yes.

And these stairs, did they go up also?

☺☺☺ 

All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

Oral..

☺☺☺ 

Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?

Yes.

Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?

Yes, sir.

What did she say?

What disco am I at?

☺☺☺

 How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the colision?

More funny things said in court:

"Real things said in court "

"Real things said in court" Part2

"Real things said in court" Part3

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Funny sayings in court, Jokes,

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Jokes / Funny polar bear jokes

Some very funny polar bear jokes and lines

 

***

One day a baby polar bear step in front his mother with a confused expression on his face and says, "Mom? Am I a polar bear?"

"Well of course my dear!"

The baby polar bear replied, "Are u sure I'm not a panda bear or a black bear?"

"Sure you’re not. Now run outside and play."

But the baby polar bear is still confused so he approaches his father.

And asks, "Dad, ehm..am I a polar bear?"

"Sure you are son!" the papa polar bear gruffly replies.

The baby polar bear continues, "I don't have any grizzly bear or Koala bear in my bloodlines?"

"Nope son. I'm a polar bear, your mother is a polar bear, and you too are one 100% purebred polar bear!! Why in the world do you ask?"

"Cause I'm freezing my BUTT off!!"

*** 

Why do bears have fur coats ?
Because they'd look stupid in anoraks !

Why shouldn't you take a bear to the zoo ?
Because they'd rather go to the cinema !

What kind of money do polar bears use ?
Ice lolly !

How do you start a teddy bear race ?
Ready, teddy, go !

 

 ***

A polar bear walks into a bar and says "I'd like a Gin ............................. and tonic please".

The barman asks "What's with the big pause?"

To which the bear replies "I don't know, I've always had them".

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Animal Jokes, Jokes,

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25 Funny Tweets

Some really brilliant lines are sharing every second in Twitter. 

        Let me share these precious 25 with you :D

***

“Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas. - P. Poundstone

“Dear life, when I said “ can my day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question not a challenge” – @Willyferrell

“As Bieber sleeps, I grow stronger. Sleep, Bieber. Sleep.” – Conan Obrien

“How do you find will smith in the snow?  Look for the fresh prints...”

“Ever been so drunk that you cooked a pizza at 20 degrees for 350 minutes?” - @Coastiefish

“I tried to kill a spider with hair spray. It’s still alive, but its hair looks FABULOOOOUS”

“My father looked at all my tweets yesterday and said "I don't know who the bigger failure is- you, me or god." - MarvinMacatol

"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific." -Lily Tomlin

"Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die"

“I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.” -Britney Spears

"Saying ''LMFAO'' ''ROFL'' and "LOL" when you're clearly just sitting there showing less expression than a brick."

"NEXT!!! Can I help you? Nah. I just stood in line to say hi."

"To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it.

They just scroll to the bottom and click 'I agree'." @Almightygod

"My personality test results came back. They're negative." @Redrabbit

"My mechanic just told me I could pick my car up at 5 p.m. and that they 'might be having a few beers there after work'. OMG is this a date?!" @katydidsays

" God must love stupid people. He made SO many."

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."

"Take everything in moderation. Including moderation."

"Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house."@confuciussay

”Always protect your ‘wand’ when entering her Chamber of Secrets.” - @_Snape_

“I like my coffee to be like my secret eHarmony account’s profile picture: black.” –@pattonoswalt

“Smoking pot may be illegal, but then again, so is the music on your iPod” - @PeterGriffin

“ I hate when ugly people say “I need my beauty sleep” Bitch you need to hibernate”- @Adam Sandler

“Someone approached me today and asked me if I was that chick from The L Word…” justinbeiber

“ I haven’t seen a spider around the house in days. WHAT THE F*CK ARE THEY PLANNING?” - @Robinwilliams

You might be interested:
►Funny Yahoo Answers Fails
►Funniest Tattoos Ever
►World Of Warcraft : Hilarious Point Of View
►Russell Peters In San Francisco

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Funny short lines, Jokes,

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5 Hilarious Sports Jokes

A Denver Broncos' fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Mile High Stadium, until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was.

The guy said, "Yes, that's my wife's seat. We have never missed a game since the Craig Morton days, but now my wife is dead."

The fan offered his sympathy and said it was really too bad that he couldn't find some relative to give the ticket to and enjoy the game together.

"Oh no." the guy said. "They're all at the funeral." 

***

A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender said, "Sorry. No pets allowed."
The man replied, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you'll see." The bartender, anxious to see what will happen, turned on the game.
The guy said, "Watch. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips." The Jets keep scoring field goals and the dog keeps flipping and jumping.
"Wow! That's one hell of a dog you got there. What happens when the Jets score a touchdown?"
The man replied, "I don't know. I've only had him for seven years!"

  

*** 

Recently, a college football lineman married one of the team's cheerleaders.
The coach was a bit suprised and remarked to his star football player, "You are such a big, burley guy. Why in the world did you marry such a tiny, petite woman? She is no bigger than your hand."
"That's right, Coach," replied the lineman, "but she's much better!"

 ***

Two boys were playing football in Golden Gate Park when one was attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

A reporter who was walking by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Forty Niners' fan saves friend from vicious animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But, I'm not a Niners' fan," the boy replied.

"Oakland Raiders' fan rescues friend from horrific attack," the reporter starts again.

"No, I'm not a Raiders' fan either," the boy said.

"Then what are you?" the reporter asked.

"I'm a Cowboys' fan." replied the boy.

The reporter turns to a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Redneck bastard kills family pet."

***

A woman is picked up by Dennis Rodman in a bar. They like each other and she goes back with him to his hotel room. He removes his shirt revealing all his tattoos and she sees that on his arm is one which reads, "Reebok." She thinks that is a bit odd and asks him about it.

Dennis says, "When I play basketball, the cameras pick up the tattoo and Reebok pays me for advertisement." A bit later, his pants are off and she sees "Puma" tattooed on his leg. He gives the same explanation for the unusual tattoo. Finally, the underwear comes off and she sees the word "AIDS" tattooed on his penis. She jumps back with shock.

"I'm not going to do it with a guy who has AIDS!"

He says, "It's cool baby. In a minute it's going to say 'ADIDAS'."

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Jokes, Sport Jokes,

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Jokes / World Ideologies Explained

Traditional Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

Bureucratism
You have two cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.


Fascism
You have two cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

Socialism
You have two cows. You give one to your neighbor.

Communism
You have two cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

Nazism
You have two Cows. The State takes both and shoots you. 

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Cool Jokes, Jokes, Political Jokes,

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Jokes / Funny Cinderella Story

Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship.

One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said: 'Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?'
The Fairy Godmother replied: 'Well Cinderella, since you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you 3 wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?'

Cinderella is taken aback, overjoyed and after some thoughtful consideration and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish. 'I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension.' Instantly her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned.

Cinderella said 'Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother!' The Fairy Godmother replied 'It is the least I can do. What is your second wish?' Cinderella looked down at her frail body and said: 'I wish I was young and full of the beauty of youth again.'

At once, her wish having been desired, became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage had returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years and long forgotten vigour and vitality began to course through her very soul. Then the Fairy Godmother spoke again: 'You have one more wish, what shall you have?'

Cinderella looked over to Alan, who was now quivering in the corner with fear. 'I wish you to transform my old cat, Alan, into a beautiful and handsome young man.' Magically, Alan suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biologicial make up, that when he stoof before her, he was a boy, so beautiful the like of which she nor the world had ever seen, so fair indeed that birds begun to fall from the sky at his feet.

The Fairy Godmother said: 'Congratulations Cinderella! Enjoy your new life.' With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone.

For a few moments, Alan and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect boy she had ever seen. Then Alan walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his muscular arms.

He leant close to her ear, and into her ear breathed as much as whispered, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath, 'I bet you regret having my b*lls chopped off now, don't you?'

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Cool Jokes, Jokes,

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Jokes / Ten Reasons to go to work naked

10. No one ever steals your chair.

9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.

8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.

7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.

6. You want to see if it's like the dream.

5. To stop those creepy programmer guys from looking down your blouse.

4. "I'd love to chip in... but I left my wallet in my pants."

3. It's an inventive way to finally meet that 'special' person in Human Resources.

2. You can take advantage of your computer monitor radiation to work on your tan. 

Number One reason to go to work naked :

1. Your boss will never say, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!" ever again.

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Cool Jokes, Jokes,

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Jokes / What's Wrong, Doc?

What's Wrong, Doc?

The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.

When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what's wrong with me."

"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "You're just a plain old lazy fart."

"Thank You." said the man. "Now give me the medical term, so I can tell my wife!"

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Doctor Jokes, Jokes,

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Jokes / Snow White and the 7 dwarfs

One day the seven dwarfs were coming home after a hard day’s work. As they approached the house, they heard some sounds coming from the garden.

Their curiosity aroused, they stood on each others’ shoulders until finally one of them could see over the garden wall.

The dwarf at the top sees Snow White and the Prince sitting and talking in the garden. He says to the dwarf whose shoulders he is standing on, “Snow White is with the Prince.”

This in turn gets passed down, dwarf to dwarf, “Snow White is with the Prince”
“Snow White is with the Prince”
“Snow White is with the Prince”
“Snow White is…..” (and so on) until it has reached all the dwarfs.

Then the dwarf at the top says:

“They`re Kissing”

Again the chain starts:
“They`re Kissing”
“They`re Kissing”
“They`re Kissing”
“They`re …….”

“He`s taking off her clothes”
“He`s taking off her clothes”
“He`s taking off her clothes”
“He`s taking off…………”

“They`re both nude now”
“They`re both nude now”
“They`re both nude now”
“They`re both………”

“He`s about to make love to her”
“He`s about to make love to her”
“He`s about to make love to her”
“He`s about to……….”

At this point Snow White hears a sound near the wall, so she gets up to investigate.

The dwarf at the top sees this and says:

“She`s Coming..”

“So am I”
“So am I”
“So am I”
“So am I”
“So am I”
“So am I”

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Cool Jokes, Jokes,

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Jokes / Perfect compliment

The wife is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband:
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The guy says, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

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Family Jokes, Jokes,

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Jokes / Perfect advise

An old man was working out in the gym when he spotted a cute young girl.He asked the trainer that was near by, 
"Hey, what machine in here should I use to impress that sweet girl over there?"
The trainer looked him up and down and said,
"I would try the ATM in the lobby."

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Jokes, Men Jokes,

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Jokes / Chicken surprise

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise". The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.

He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening,and demands an explanation.

"Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?" The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."

"Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck."

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Cool Jokes, Jokes,

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Jokes / Afterlife

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife.

After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word he made contact, "Mary. Mary."

"Is that you, Fred?"

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, off to the golf course, I have sex, I bathe in the sun, and then I have sex twice.
I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, golf course again. Then have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again."

"Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven."
.
.

"Not exactly, I'm a rabbit in Miami."

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Family Jokes, Jokes,

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Jokes/ Things you don't want to hear during surgery:

There are things, you really don't wanna hear during surgery:
*****

• Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
• Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop
• "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
• Spot! Spot! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
• Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
• Hand me that...uh...that...uh.....thingie
• Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
• “Ok, will finish that crap later!”
• Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
• “Guys the game begins, turn on the tv!”
• Damn, there go the lights again...
• “What the f**k is this? Don’t know…push it back..”
• "You know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them."
• Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
• Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
• What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change...!
• Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
• This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
• Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donor card?
• Don't worry; I think it's sharp enough.
• What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
• She's gonna blow! Everyone take cover!!!
• FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out of here!

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Doctor Jokes, Jokes,

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Jokes / Bear hunters

Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could.

He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.

The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another one!"

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Hunters Jokes, Jokes,

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Jokes / Spare teeth

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth.

Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth." The man said, "No problem." With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said.

The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said. The man then said, "I have another pair...try these." The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight." The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair of false teeth...try them."

The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that he ate his meal and gave his address. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist."

The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm the local undertaker."

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Dentist Jokes, Jokes,

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Jokes / More Chuck Norris One Liners

• Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin. 

• Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

• Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

• Google no longer runs searches on Chuck Norris.

• Chuck Norris doesn't step away from the vehicle. The vehicle steps away from Chuck Norris.

• Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

• Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.

• According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

• Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

•  Chuck Norris get his driver's license at the age of 16 Seconds.

• Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

                                                  More Chuck Norris Jokes

 Top 10 Chuck Norris Facts

Things you don't know about Chuck Norris

More Chuck Norris One Liners

World of Warcraft commercial with Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris, Jokes,

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Jokes / "My sister is blonde"

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.

After buying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable". The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, "comfortable?'"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it slow. - - - -
("com-for-da-bul" )

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Blonde Jokes, Jokes,

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Jokes / No help required

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student aide, John found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need John’s help to leave the hospital. 

After a short talk about rules being rules, he reluctantly let John wheel him to the elevator. 

On the way down John asked him if his wife was meeting him. I don’t know,” he said. “She is till upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.”

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Doctor Jokes, Jokes,

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