Jokes / 10 signs your an Internet geek

10. When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address.
 9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?"

8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.

7. You're amazed to find out spam is a food.

6. You "ping" people to see if they're awake, "finger" them to find out how they are, and "AYT" them to make sure they're listening to you.

5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.

4. You introduce your wife as "my lady@home.wife" and refer to your children as "client applications".

3. At social functions you introduce your husband as "my domain server".

2. After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out, "I feel so colon-right parentheses!"

And the number one sign you are an Internet Geek:

1. Two Words: "Pizza's Here!"

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Computers Jokes, Jokes,

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Jokes / What if your husband is programmer

Husband : (Returning late from work) "Good Evening dear....I'm now logged in."
 
Wife: Have you brought the groceries?
 
Husband : Bad command or filename.
 
Wife: But I told you in the morning
 
Husband : Syntax Error. Abort?
 
Wife: What about my new TV?
 
Husband : Variable not found . . .
 
Wife: At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do someshopping.
 
Husband : Sharing Violation. Access denied
 
Wife: Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny?
 
Husband : Too many parameters . . .
 
Wife: It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you.
 
Husband : Data type mismatch.
 
Wife: You are useless.
 
Husband : It's by Default.
 
Wife: What about your Salary?
 
Husband : File in use . . . Try later.
 
Wife: What is my value in the family.
 
Husband : Unknown Virus.

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Computers Jokes, Jokes,

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Jokes / Cyber Love

A little boy says: Daddy, how was I born?
DAD says: Ah, my son. I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well, you see, your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room,
where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed popup appeared and said: You've Got Male!

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Computers Jokes, Jokes,

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Jokes / Email

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.

However, he accidentally typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile… somewhere, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. The widow decided to check

her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The

widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:


To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Reached Safely
Date: 21 st July, 2004


I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and we are allowed to send e-mails to

our loved ones. I’ve just reached safely and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared

for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was …

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Jokes / Computer Heaven and Computer Hell

In Computer Heaven:

The management is from Intel,
The design and construction is done by Apple,
The marketing is done by Microsoft,
IBM provides the support,
Gateway determines the pricing.

In Computer Hell:
The management is from Apple,
Microsoft does design and construction,
IBM handles the marketing,
The support is from Gateway,
Intel sets the price.

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Computers Jokes, Jokes,

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