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']]}Jokes / 10 signs your an Internet geek
10. When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address. 9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?"8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.7. You're amazed to find out spam is a food.6. You "ping" people to see if they're awake, "finger" them to find out how they are, and "AYT" them to make sure they're listening to you.5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.4. You introduce your wife as "my lady@home.wife" and refer to your children as "client
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']]}Jokes / "What's the bad news?"
A Post Office worker at the main sorting office finds an unstamped, poorly hand-written envelope addressed to God. He opens it and discovers it is from an elderly lady, distressed because some thief robbed her of 100 dollars. She will be cold and hungry for the rest of the month if she doesn't receive some divine intervention.The worker organizes a collection amongst the other postal workers, who dig deep and come up with 96 dollars. They get it to her by special courier the same morning.A week later, the same postal worker recognizes the same hand on another envelope. He opens it and reads:
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']]}Jokes / A Pablo Picasso Joke
Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau. The intruder got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like. On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, the minister of finance, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower.
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']]}Jokes / What doctors say, and what they're really thinking
"This should be taken care of right away."I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself."Welllllll, what have we here...?"He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue."Let me check your medical history."I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you."Why don't we make another appointment later in the week."I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time.--or--I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit."We have some good news and some bad news."The
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']]}Jokes / "Jump, frog, jump!"
A biologist was interested in studying how far bullfrogs can jump. He brought a bullfrog into his laboratory, set it down, and commanded, "Jump, frog, jump!"The frog jumped across the room.The biologist measured the distance, then noted in his journal, "Frog with four legs jumped eight feet."Then he cut the frog's front legs off. Again he ordered, "Jump, frog, jump!"The frog struggled a moment, then jumped a few feet.After measuring the distance, the biologist noted in his journal, "Frog with two legs jumped three feet."Next, the biologist cut off the frog's back legs. Once more, he shouted,
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']]}Jokes / 20 funny things to do in elevator while bored
1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.3. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.4. Swat at flies that don't exist.5. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"6. &nb
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']]}Jokes / Things you don't know about Chuck Norris
· When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out. · Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. · Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes. · There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue. · When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's. · Chuck Nor
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']]}Jokes / The right decision
There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry. So he decides to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spends it. The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much." The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much." The third o
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']]}Jokes / What if your husband is programmer
Husband : (Returning late from work) "Good Evening dear....I'm now logged in." Wife: Have you brought the groceries? Husband : Bad command or filename. Wife: But I told you in the morning Husband : Syntax Error. Abort? Wife: What about my new TV? Husband : Variable not found . . . Wife: At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do someshopping. Husband : Sharing Violation. Access denied Wife: Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny? Husband : Too many parameters . . . Wife: It was a great mistake that
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