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Jokes / Student Report Cards

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These are real comments made by teachers on their student report cards.

1. Since my last report, your child has hit rock bottom and has started to dig.


2. I would not allow this student to breed.


3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.


4. Your child is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.


5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.


6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.


7. This child has been working with glue too much.


8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell !

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead 

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