Jokes / Funny quotes about dogs

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog? -- Unknown Man is a dog's idea of what God should be. -- Holbrook Jackson It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing milk-bone underwear -- Norm, on Cheers Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's much too dark to read. -- Groucho Marx If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. -- Unknown Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. -- Unknown Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies. -- Gene Hill In dog years, I'm dead. -- Unknown To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. -- Aldous Huxley A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.  -- Robert Benchley Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. -- Sue Murphy I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. -- August Strindberg No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.  -- Fran Lebowitz Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! -- Anne Tyler I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.  -- Rita Rudner